Expectation VS Reality

As a mother, you deal with your fair amount of disappointments and failures. You battle with who you used to be before you had children, and who you are now. I like to be somewhere in between the person who I used to be and who I am now. Although I truly admire who I have become, sometimes I miss who I used to be. A go getter, an entrepreneur, a singer, a project coordinator, etc.

Some days I feel like a failure. I’m not as energetic as some of these mom’s out there, I’m not always as friendly – sometimes hiding behind my sunglasses shielding my bare face that has no touch of make up. I’m not the yoga and Pilates preggo mother that I thought I would be. I don’t have a lot of mom friends in my area so as far as setting up play dates for my son, I definitely feel like a failure.

I think, I can at least rule at managing my home because that is my “office.” But reality sinks in, that no matter how many schedules I make, how many planners I own – life will happen. I can schedule laundry day, or grocery day or this is when I sit down and finally write my blog post day but life will happen and then I’m left with what I feel is nothing to show for.

In between trying to get the dishes done, chasing my toddler from playing with the electric chords, making breakfast, wrestling my son from swinging the dog from her tail, prepping for lunch, putting my pots back in the drawer from when my kid pulls them out to play, etc. Nothing ever seems to get done. I can schedule in between his nap times, IF he decides to nap today – life is as unpredictable as wintertime in southern California, you just don’t know what you’re going to get.

An unpredictable schedule can be so disappointing when you have a desire to meet expectations. I am the type of person who, as soon as I get an idea – I like to test it out right away.

Expectation: I want to open an Etsy shop!

Reality: It actually took me about 6-9 months to finally put my idea into reality. My son was a newborn when I WANTED to start but I had to wait MONTHS before I got the ball rolling because I had no one to help me with him and it was really difficult working one hour at a time, in between his naps. Especially because he refused to sleep on his own until he was about 9 months.

Expectation: I want to start blogging!

Reality: I didn’t get to fully dive in to blogging until about a year after wanting to do it. I started with a journal, story telling about experiences in my life as a way to maintain my sanity. I have to say, I just re-started this venture maybe 3-4 months ago when my son was finally able to play independently. I still have to chase him around, mid paragraph to make sure he didn’t jam a toy in the DVD player. And on most days when I get on my laptop to write a post, he likes to psych me out and play with the power chord, occasionally pulling it out of its outlet and then laughing. -_-

In the end, as long as it gets done – you’ve still reached your achievement. I think its natural to try and put a time frame and deadlines to certain personal goals that we have in life, but its important not to live by them.  I think most successful people have experienced a fair amount of failures and met their own expectations in later times than expected – but they at least got there. You will get there, I will get there. It might not be at the time that I expected, but God always pulls through. He gets me there when it’s time for me to get there. You have to take the positives in life or else, you’ll constantly feel like a failure. You have to remember that YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You are just going through another hurdle, so keep on persevering and finish climbing that mountain!

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

James 1:12

 

Gloomy Days, Don’t Dull My Sunday Vibes

After a whole week of sunshine, it decided to rain this weekend. Sure, there were moments when the sun peeked through – but my heart was saddened when the sun decided not to make it’s permanent appearance.

When we lived in California, it felt like summertime every day. You start to take the sunshine for granted, now that we’re in Washington – I definitely appreciate the sun more and take advantage when it comes out to show off its rays.

Even though it was particularly gloomy, we still ventured out to get AJ out of the house for a while. Plus, I need to walk the baby bump. I took advantage of the gloom and wore some of my warmer clothes. I do love the fall season, so this outfit made me reminiscent of that beautiful time.

I love rock music, pop rock was the genre of the band that I used to sing in. So this outfit was definitely in reflection to that time in my life when I used to get on stage and sing my little heart out. I say little because I’m 5’1″…and a half!

What I’m wearing:

Black faux leather jacket: Forever 21. Grey stripped long sleeve shirt: Forever 21. Black under tank: Mossimo, Target. Gray fleece lined leggings: TJ Max. Military Boots: TJ Max.

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I had to include some pictures of my son AJ, I think he is a camera natural! Even though lately it’s been really hard to capture photos of him because he doesn’t like to stand still once we let him run free.

What AJ is wearing:
White and grey long sleeve shirt: Cherokee, Target. Caramel Khakis: H&M Kids. Shoes: Grey Checkered Vans.

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