Date Night with The Husband

It has been just about 2 years since my husband and I have been able to indulge in a date night together. For the past 2 years, it has been all about baby and we rarely get to have any alone time for one another. With our soon to be addition of baby number two, a kind soul at the church we go to offered to watch our little one so we could get some alone time and although hesitant – I knew it was very much needed for us.

Before having my first son, my husband and I would always have a date night. Enjoying each others company and allowing for romance to sweep us off our feet was the norm. Then our son came along and our priorities shifted – our love did not stop for one another but I do think it left us with a feeling of longing for one another. I know I missed having all of my husband’s attention and I know he felt the same way in some instances.

I was finally able to wear a purse that was not a diaper bag or that had any sippy cups and diapers in it. It’s the little things that make you feel so free. My husband opened the car door for me, which is something I completely forgot he used to do, but made me feel so very special. We went to dinner at a wonderful sushi restaurant and were able to actually enjoy a meal without having to pick up food pieces off the floor and asking my toddler to calm down and stop screaming. It was liberating, yet something was missing.

The loud noise in the backseat yelling for cookies and car ride snacks was missing. My husband from time to time would jokingly say, “Hmm, is he knocked out back there, did he fall asleep or something?” We brushed off the feeling and continued on about our plans.

All the while enjoying ourselves, we realized how much we missed our son. He had become such a prominent part of our lives, although sometimes very disruptive and stressful – he was the little light that was missing. Because we became a family when he was born, and although my husband and I miss having each other’s full attention at times – we have morphed into something so much greater.

I think it’s still very important to have a date night with your spouse, not ONLY to keep your marriage healthy, full of love, and to keep the romance going. But also, so you can realize the blessings in your life. Having children is not easy, some days you want to rip your hair out and just run away and lock yourself in the bathroom. But the joy and love that comes with them is so irreplaceable.

God calls us to keep our marriages strong. To love your spouse before ourselves and it felt good to do that. I guess I am just so grateful to be doing marriage with someone that is on the same page as me. Someone I don’t have to convince to love our children and be a part of their every day moments. Someone who is equally yoked as myself, shares the same desire to love Jesus and be a servant of God.  We are not perfect, but our love for each other feels perfect. I feel I have so much to be grateful to God for, so undeserving of all this love and all the blessings he sends our way.

When it was finally time to pick our son back up, I think we both raced each other out of the car to see who got to the door faster. I left the car door open with my purse hanging out! As we saw his beautiful little face through the house mirror, as he threw his hands up in the air and gave his welcome “HI” – I think my heart melted. I live for those moments. Those moments where finally seeing you is the best thing in the world to them. My 35 weeks pregnant and hurting butt picked his heavy little self up and could not stop kissing his face. Like the first day he was born, always showered in kisses.

Sunday Sentiments and Target Mini Haul

Lately, I’ve been really thirsting for the word of God. As a mother, you tend to forget about yourself and the things that you need. You loose your sense of self because you get used to putting your family before you and because it becomes a routine, you start to ignore the things that remind you of who you are.

Well, I am not ashamed to say that I need Jesus. When my son was younger, I felt very uncomfortable leaving him alone in the church nursery that we used to go to, only because he was so little and I was scared that for some reason – something would happen to him and I wouldn’t be there to protect him. Maybe it was first time mother syndrome, who knows. But I had a tough time letting him go, especially because I am his sole caregiver at home for the most part – he’s never had a babysitter. Anyway, because of this inability to let go, I missed a lot of sermons and didn’t always get “fed” the word of God. Something, I feel that I desperately need.

On Sunday, we visited a new church and for some reason – maybe because my son is now older, I was able to let him go to the nursery a little more confidently. I was finally able to listen to the word and my soul felt delighted. It was a feeling that I missed. I miss hearing the word of God, I miss being apart of a church family, I miss being delighted in the Lord and worshipping. I am so excited to be getting back to church and I am so happy because I feel in a way that I am getting back to God. I know that you should never get too busy to forget to meditate on the word of God but it does happen. You have to remember that instead of dwelling on it, just get up and finally do something about it. There will always be a reason not to go to church – I know I have many: my son is too difficult to deal with in public, I’m pregnant therefore I am too tired and stressed, I overslept, etc. I am just glad that I finally put my excuses aside and went.

Psalm 43:4

Then I will go to the altar of God,
    to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the lyre,
    O God, my God

After church, we went on a little Target run for the little man because since we will be taking our trip back to California soon – little man needed some new summer clothes and swimming trunks! Target honestly has the cutest things for kids – although I wish they had a larger selection for boys! Girls seem to have the majority of the selection. Preggo even tried to find some cute maternity swimsuits.

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Update: My Life Right Now

Last week, my husband went away on a business trip leaving me to hold down the fort with my toddler and pregnant self. Needless to say, I was less than thrilled because I knew how much I would miss him and how much more I would have to step up my game around the house because he really helps me out in all avenues at home. With my sciatic nerve, especially during pregnancy – I can be left pretty immobilized at times so I was really worried when he left. Some days, just slightly bending down to pick up toys can leave my lower back in excruciating pain.

Well, it hasn’t even been a full week since he’s been gone and me and AJ already miss him so much. You don’t really realize how much your other half does for you until you are left to do it all yourself. Like throwing out the trash, or picking up your toddler when he escapes your grasp and runs off. There’s only so much a pregnant belly can handle!

I’m sure I’m amusing our neighbors when I make 5 trips up and down the stairs with arms full of groceries and a toddler on my hip. Ah, the strong will of motherhood! Honestly, I don’t know how I’m doing it. I’ve never been so exhausted and grateful for all that my husband does for us, without even having to ask him. I know I have one of the best ones in the book, which makes it so much harder because missing him is not easy.

Every time I open the front door, my son screams out “daddy” because he’s used to him coming home from work so he knows he’s usually the only one coming in the door. That’s the hardest. AJ misses his rough play and nightly shower times. He is so smart for such a small little guy.

I guess what I’m trying to say here ladies is, if you have a good husband – make sure they know how much you appreciate them. I know I always try to. I truly give it up to military wives who have to hold down the fort for months at a time while their husbands are deployed – I know it must not be easy! Thank goodness for technology and video chatting through cell phones! I can at least see his handsome face from time to time.

Why I Miss My Husband

My husband and I always had an amazing connection. When we first dated, it seemed as if we just couldn’t stay away from each other. After we got married, people would tell us that once we passed that “honeymoon phase” we would start to tire from one another. Well, I can confidently say that we have been together for almost 9 years and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, I feel like I long for him more now than ever.

After having a baby, obviously things change. Priorities shift and the baby becomes the center of the love and attention. We went from being a couple that would constantly have date nights to mom and dad – the feeding and poop changing machines. Parents who made their child the ultimate priority and along the way had a little less time to cherish each other.

My son didn’t like sharing the “milk machine” with daddy, he would cry out whenever he saw mommy and daddy sharing a kiss. It didn’t help that we had just moved to Washington a few months before I had my son, he was our first baby and all our family and friends lived in California. This meant I had no help; no one to help me watch the baby, no babysitter, no nothing. My husband sometimes worked 12 hour days so I would always feel guilty asking for his help when he came home so sometimes I just toughed it out. Aside from all the obstacles, we still made it work but forgot about ourselves along the way. No help meant, no more alone time, no more date nights, no indulging in our love for one another.

I started to miss my husband. How he would randomly take me to dinner and a movie. How we would just hold hands everywhere we went. Just simply enjoying one another. We didn’t have that anymore, and we both missed it. I didn’t have time to get gussied up for him anymore. He went from seeing me wear my tight fitting sexy outfits to mostly wearing a uniform of sweat pants and oversized t-shirts, that belonged to him. I didn’t feel sexy anymore, I didn’t feel like ME.

Still, despite of how I started to feel about myself – he still called me sexy. He still told me how beautiful I was every single day, even though I didn’t FEEL beautiful. It was enough to help me keep it together because I still needed him to love me, just like he still needed me to love him.

I started feeling badly because I couldn’t give him the same. But I made it my mission to give him whatever I had left. Whatever energy I had left, when he came home – I made sure he knew I missed him. Every phone call he made to me, I told him how much I appreciated him and how much I loved him. I couldn’t wait till he got home so that I could have a plate ready for him for dinner. With whatever I have left, he will know that I miss him.

I still do my best, and although sometimes I fall short… I know he knows how much I love him. Because a man that can still see beauty in you when you cannot, is a keeper and I treasure him.

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